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bedwomb seed

bedwomb seed

tongue's lore

tongue’s lore

 

wren tongue (see lore)

wren tongue (see lore)

 

dancintheglow

dancintheglow

 

 

 

i am breaking further

i can’t speak for anyone else

yet this morning and last night, last night i sat in a heap of pain. i didn’t drink wine to distance myself from it, i didn’t endulge in my myriad of distractions. i layed in the womb and felt it. i said to myself, it will be better in the morning.

and it was, the pain was less, yet as i went to meditate and felt my hard stomach holding the breath, my whole body feeling like laying down and sobbing like a little child, i tried to breathe into this pain, to sit with it.

i layed down at one point, and breathed exaggeratedly, i let tears come, but they wouldn’t come, not all the way. i sat back up and continued breathing, i continued sitting.

someone was mowing a lawn nearby and it made me want to cry. there was a loud industrial vacuum in the house next door (which is still going on…), there is noise everywhere and i fucking hate it! the highway noise, planes bustling overhead, cars whizzing by! i hate it! my organism can’t stand it. this is the feeling of overwhelm which makes me want to lie down and weep and surrender.

 

so that is what i did, as the pain of The Ways Things Are Now became so great and the meditation finished I said to my friend sitting next to me, I feel like a little kid, I feel like rolling up in a ball and crying, I feel so much pain.

 

And he asked what kind of pain it was, Is it anxiety, is it the pain of this or that..etc etc… and i said, no

 

It is the pain of The Way Things Are, it is the pain i feel that the world is the way it is – when did it become okay to not have clean air or water, when did we forget? when is all this noise okay? is it ever silent? I don’t know if this is my unfinished pain or the my pain at the world, yet I can’t handle it any more!

 

Your pain in relation to the world, he reflected

 

Yes, I replied and broke

I broke down and sobbed uncontrollably, I cried like a baby, wailing, and even embarrassed at my wailing, yet knowing deep enough that i need this grieving, to allow myself to do it as much as i can. to free myself to feel  this pain and have an honest response. weeping, all of my pain flashed before my eyes. the extreme violence of our culture and the forcing i’ve put on myself to be about partaking in it.

 

the thing is, i want to be involved, want to be connected, i want to be apart and this is what i was hearing toward the end of this speech yesterday- that the workers on the oil rigs aren’t evil and completely destructive people, they want to be a part of an exciting, groundbreaking, connected project that they feel and think serves their ideology, the ideology of our infinite growth culture, what serves “progress”.

yet the truth is that these things do not serve health and wellness, true growth toward beauty, love, connection. they are destroying life on a massive scale, as was said in the talk yesterday “not only for all of future generations, but for right now as well.” the workers on the rigs, etc have knowledge of this, at least in part. for we all do, as every organism has the ability to feel as it is energetically attuned to our deeper knowing, totally integrated and in-formed as a part of our larger planet, our Earth.

this pain overtook me today, I released myself to it. and the most wonderful part is that, apart from feeling powerless after such a breaking through, i feel more powerful, gentler, clearer, more resolved in knowing what it is i have to do, what is my deep calling to do. this is my path here, this is why i am here. to feel, to respond, to call, to deeply love and care and live my truth.

What a wonderful day today. I am very thankful.

Had the opportunity to go to Cal Earth‘s open house today with some friends, old and new. An hour and a half from LA, one can find Hesperia, CA. I went with the intent of seeing, feeling, experiencing, gaining some understanding on the structures and spirit behind the place. I had a feeling some interesting connections would spark up, and boyoboy did they!

twas an overcast day at cal earth, yet these jewels stand out

twas an overcast day at cal earth, yet these jewels stand out

First, the spirit of the place is quite contagious and I resonate with it on a grand scale. After wandering around weaving through the buildings, at 11 am we gathered around for Welcome, Introduction, Stories, etc. The daughter of the since-passed Architect of the place spoke for a while. We all sat around in a semi-circle shape on some of their structures, next to the first structure built there, the Rumi building (yes, inspired by rumi the poet), a brick circular building.

this building is their example of how beautiful and even fitting into the mainstream their work can be.

this building is their example of how beautiful, shapely and integrated the cal earth designs can be  (inside this house looks very conventional, i bet to show that it doesn’t have to be so “out there” and therefore inaccessible to the majority.

I loved the format of the Introduction and Story Telling. We got to hear stories of Khalili’s life, which were very inspiring to me. Stories of being on the brink of failure and pushing through, stories of the miracles of life, of trying and seeking out things never before experienced by humans. Of passion, a drive to empower All people, to make building homes affordable and accessible for All people! And when they say All people, it is real; they said that when they place the earth bags and fill their contents, they fill it a coffee can at a time! so anyone can do it- one doesn’t need to be exorbitantly strong, a construction-worker male, or even necessarily agile to build these houses. this is very encouraging for the world… and Khalili’s spirit, which continues on in the place, sought out this egalitarian accessibility.

here is an example of some of the bags that didn't get plastered over. these bags provide the structure and fill of the buildings and are held together with barbed wire. one line i especially liked today: the architect wanted to use the materials of war to create these homes.

here is an example of some of the bags that didn’t get plastered over. these bags provide the structure and fill of the buildings and are held together with barbed wire. one line i especially liked today: the architect wanted to use the materials of war to create these homes.

at lunch, i shared a few really neat encounters. this book the ringing cedars of russia by anastasia has been coming to me lately. i heard about it a couple of years ago and felt as though i really resonated with the book and wanted to read it at some point. a girl i met in an earlier recent adventure brought it up, today i saw it sitting in one of the cal earth sleep wombs, and then at lunch i met a couple living in idaho who are living at Vedrica Forest Gardens, an intentional community semi-founded on the guiding light of this book. looking at the couple, they appeared very familiar. sometimes i meet people who it seems look like me in various ways, not necessarily in a flesh and bones resemblance, but something in the eyes, perhaps a spiritual or soulular familiarity. we got to talking, and it was so refreshing to talk with them, to feel their spirits and the exciting and harrowing aspects of their endeavor. i may go visit their community over time.

later i met another woman who i felt connected to in a very deep way. she’s living in santa barbara now, in her 50s, has a very cool story – at one point she went to maui, lived next to a river and waterfalls, built her own house out of cedar. talking with her was such an amazing mirror i kept wanting to laugh and hug her and dance and giggle with my head back, grinning ear to ear. it was so refreshing to hear her speak, to see the joy and love twinkling in her eyes and to feel it radiating from her being and to feel my own being relaxing and excitedly delving into the unfolding conversation. we were both excited to connect with each other, and shared the joys and difficulties of living as very sensitive beings within frameworks that are not always supportive, especially within city contexts. it’s such a blessing to make connections like this, which serve to remind me, rejuvenate me, cause a deep soul grin and inspire and spark me forward.

beautifully colored dome in the light.

beautifully colored dome in the light.

the whole visit today at cal earth was encouraging, enlightening, inspiring, informing and beautiful. if you’re in the area,  i would recommend a visit to their monthly open house.

written near white sage in the angeles national forest on 1.11.13

In the woods today and continually along the coast on my bike trip, it was just me and the earth; ocean, river, trees, canyon, mountains, crevices… A strange thought returned to me over and over: This is enough.

It would well up within, that phrase, and I didn’t quite understand it. Of course, I thought. When did I say differently? Yet somehow in those moments I knew that acknowledging that phrase shifted something, and on my hike today I have recollected what. Foremost, I am re-membering, I am writing to help myself hear, remembering myself into action.

canyon stream

A bus ride from where I currently reside just outside of Los Angeles, will take one to the foot of the mountains. A 6 mile hike from there brought me to an awe-inspiring sector of Eaton Canyon. Waterfalls, solitude, hopping wildlife, morning light playing in streams and leaves, air I can suck in without thought of harm to my system and water, once purified, that makes me feel so good inside. I trust this atmosphere.

It purifies, refreshes, enlivens, reminds joy, beauty, peace, knowledge of impermanence, wisdom of cycling seasons. It fills me so deep and creates such a mirror for me that many times on this trip I have found myself in deep gladness giggling! Walking along this morning I was so touched by the beauty of the place as I followed the trail along the river. The way the ecosystem changed as I mused along; sheer canyon walls jutting up from the river, maples’ lost leaves scattered over the trail in front of me- what a smell!, the sound and feel of the water in the air as I walked beside the stream, the light breeze, dappled sunlight, the delicate deliciousness of the currant blossoms dangling just so…. I could go on!

Walking along the phrase came to me again

This is enough

Yes, I agreed in  mutual embrace. Yes, this is so much.

Yet when I think back to riding the bus through the city yesterday, holding my breath as I waited for it on the street. Or drinking water from the tap the day before, feeling the impurities on my tongue causing me to spit it back out in the sink. Knowing how hard the average person must work to simply have a home and necessities within the city. How most everything is intimately tied to the dollar. How we poop in our water…

I am blown away at what we have traded: clean air and water for starters…

What is has cost to sustain livelihood in the city. It’s as if, over time, we said to the abundance, beauty, gift of relationship with the earth:

You have been enough, Yet you are not enough anymore. We are building more enough for ourselves. We are pulled to the city now. To its form of abundance, gadgets, high priced plates of food shipped around the world, all of the excessive material goods … we will hand over our intimacy with you for these as we pollute the streams, erode and poison the soils and filthy the air so we can go wherever we want whenever we will.

I tell you friends, the trade is not worth it for me. Nature’s abundance and I meet and we are the same. We resonate, we dance in that abundance in mutual caretaking and gifting. Nature is so much enough for me. I feel I do not understand cities. I do not love them or promote them and their incessant cry, “More, More!” What type of return to Nature is required? What does the harmony look like? How is the balance forged? In the anvil of experience I will experiment, as many who have come before and will go after have done. Come, let’s co-create in synergistic abundance with the earth! Let us sing, We have enough, We are enough, The earth and our relations are enough!

Originally written for a local online sustainability journal and published to 5miradius.org

love to hear your thoughts!

 

Everywhere there is talk of needing to move into a sustainable relationship with the environment. We know this is imperative. We hear this and we feel it from within; this message is on the wind and there are a myriad of distractions which drown out this most basic of messages. If we don’t shift soon, we hear, the planet is in big trouble, we, its inhabitants, are in big trouble. Many sources say we are already in big trouble. Ecosystems are failing, animals are going extinct, massive populations are impoverished, the earth is acting funny, being hot when before it was cooler, erupting and quaking, the list goes on. The state of life on the planet is changing drastically, we hear, and it’s not for the best.

Yet what can we do within a culture where, in most cases, to live sustainably is a great challenge and against the flow of the main stream? How can we sit amid the reality of this dis-ease and find the courage, fuel and knowhow to take proper action? We ask, what steps can I take, can We take, to reach toward a sustainable life? How can we cease spoiling our nests and not deplete our resources amid a mechanized culture which, in many instances, relies on this devastation to function? How can we take care of ourselves and our environment? How do we balance the need to provide for ourselves with the looming need to shift our standard and mode of living? How can we hear and act?

What does sustainability look like and how do we step toward it Right Now?

Fueled by these questions, I set off on my bicycle in early August from Los Angeles and headed north, chugging along the shoulder of the 1. Like many of you, conscious and sensitive to pollutants in my environment, I have long sought answers to these questions and, becoming overwhelmed by the polluted environment surrounding LA and propelled by the urgency of the inner imperative to be sustainable and healthy, I dedicated myself to this search.

Through Southern, Central, and Northern California, along Oregon’s coast and Washington’s peninsula, and into Vancouver Island, British Columbia, I begged these questions, Provide me with some answers! I visited ecovillages and intentional communities, met individuals and small tribes of humans dedicated to living this imperative of sustainability within their environments, sometimes staying for a day, other times exploring for a month. I want to share three findings with you, 3 B’s (Ways to Be), which will help us to reach toward sustainability now: Be nourished by and create Beauty, Befriend local representatives, and Band together.

In relation to what is truly sustainable and how to align oneself with it, I realized that there isn’t an answer or pat solution. The answer is a constant prodding and continual return to the question itself. We keep asking and realize that there is no one way to be sustainable. It is peculiar, organic and local, specific, immediate, and long-term. The desire for sustainability is our root and, as we grow in our understanding of the implications of what it means to be sustainable, our daily activities become our branches, fed by our hungry rootlets seeking nourishment, prodding ever-deeper.

I found that sustainability is about interconnected systems, from our individual homes (food, wastes, building materials, water, land use, relationships), how we connect to our environment (transportation, income, community), and how our environment connects with us (local and government systems, regulations, laws). Because sustainability is a personal and collective intention, it beckons us to create local and collaborative systems. Sustainability is about networks, branching systems; it is our human web. Think of mycelia underground and how it is strengthened through its web, sometimes stretching for miles, popping up in the right conditions.

It looks like all of these things: a hand reaching out to share with a neighbor, a daily, continual effort, the fruits of which may not come on for 12 years or more, catching water, growing food, carpooling, saving and sharing seeds, building relationships, minimizing waste, co-housing, a gentle and sometimes aggressive digging at and revamping of the systems which seek to support, but which are oftentimes dreadfully in the dark and without substantial nourishment. Yet most of these actions are just branches. We need deeper-reaching roots. The 3 B’s or Ways to Be are a great place to start.

Be 1. Create beauty which supports the shift you want to make. This is simple: Everyone is an artist, let the judgment go and create art you love to have around you. Create art to live with, to inspire, to share, to describe, challenge, encourage. Beauty is one of the biggest motivators for humanity, and the possibilities are infinite. Beauty is everywhere and if we look for it, we will see it. Tune into beauty as a daily activity. For instance, reuse recycled materials in the garden as functional sculptures for trellising, create collages, murals, and beloved objects which remind you of your vision; make space sacred and creative, and it will feed you.

Here are some picture examples of nourishing beauty I found along my trip:

eesunchair

Cob art bench at Emerald Earth Sanctuary, nourishing and functional.

cob

Cob oven at OUR ecovillage, BC

Be 2. Befriend your Representative: Connect and permeate local systems of governance. Let’s face it, many of our shifts toward sustainability (building sustainable and affordable homes, catching water, growing our food collectively and sharing it roadside or at small, neighborhood/corner farm stands and collaborative markets) entail that local governance and laws change to allow for the required creative space of our sustainable systems. Start prodding toward these shifts now! Perhaps you want to build a cob oven, garden and sell produce with friends on the corner in your neighborhood, get government support and rebates for riding your bike to work or planting fruit trees. Like the cherimoya you planted in your yard last year (great job!), realizing legislative shifts may take years to bear fruit. These are the steps we must reach toward now.

A great model for this is OUR Ecovillage in British Columbia or Dandelion Village in Bloomington Indiana, two far-from isolated villages within reach of towns and cities which have steadfastly worked alongside local governance to shift neighborhood zoning and building codes in order to gain permission and even in some cases, government funding, to do what they want to do: build homes, catch water, have so many humans living this closely together on this much land, grow food and sell it, etc. One thing I learned from working intimately with these two villages is the phrase:

Befriend your local Representative – we must weave ourselves through genuine connective friendships with our representative. Hey, become a representative yourself and bring power to your community by sharing your voice.

our new building

The most recent and completely zoned cob kitchen addition at OUR ecovillage, British Columbia

annbuilding

Annabelle and Nigel preparing the cob at OUR ecovillage

Be 3. Band together – Alone we can only do so much, Together we are resilient and strong.

“One man with an idea in his head is in danger of being considered a madman: two men with the same idea in common may be foolish, but can hardly be mad; ten men sharing an idea begin to act, a hundred draw attention as fanatics, a thousand and society begins to tremble, a hundred thousand and there is war abroad, and the cause has victories tangible and real; and why only a hundred thousand? Why not a hundred million and peace upon the earth? You and I who agree together, it is we who have to answer that question.” – William Morris

The strength of our collective voice comes through our relationships. Our relationships are strengthened by communicating our passions, fears, heart songs, dreams, and stuck places. Form mini-tribes which meet together weekly, bi-weekly, monthly. Grow a co-op, intentional community or ecovillage in your neighborhood (or connect to one already in the works), or share a house with neighbors (it is cheaper and communication is more rapid). Practice and study non-violent communication and commit to speaking from the heart and the head in the meetings. We are empowered through our ideas, yes, and also through sharing our feelings which include our fears, strengths, loves, hopes and desires in supportive and enlivening environments. Our feelings are our fuels so collectively band together and voice. Gather two and three to start and grow from there. The embers stay hotter when coals are collective, so gather that fodder and enflame in our collective visioning!

These are steps toward community empowerment that I have gleaned and seen on my travels. I have visited numerous ecovillages, intentional communities and striving and impassioned humans over the last three years of my life and I have dedicated myself to living out this question. I challenge you to continue living it out in your home and community sphere and especially encourage us to DREAM BIG! What is it your really want that is aligned with a sustainable earth-vision? It will look different for all of us, yet in diversity we find strength. Forests which have many species are stronger and more resilient than mono cultures. We know this.

Way to Be 1: Befriend Beauty and Create, collectively and individually. This will nourish, inspire and enliven us in the here and now and times to come! Everyone is an artist and connected to beauty. Yes, you! Way to Be 2: Befriend your Local Representatives. Invite him or her over for tea with your friends. Call her and create a real dialogue, partnership or collaboration. Look at it as a real relationship, because it is and it is people in these positions which have the vocal power to shift our laws and systems by which our larger cultures are run on/planned by. I can’t stress the importance of collective empowerment through local governance enough! Way to Be 3: Band Together. Find friends who feel similarly to you and talk about your thoughts and feelings and once you’ve talked about your feelings and dreams, collect your ideas into concrete actions. Build a community garden after talking to your local governance about that plot of land that’s been vacant or use a space in your friend’s grandmother’s backyard to grow veggies for your families. Grow too much and find a community abundance-trade group like Ripe in Altadena or trade your eggs with your friend on the bus for eggplant. Weave your web and be conscious that it is this through which we are strengthened. All of these individual acts at home are great and they are a start, yet it is through our collective visioning that we are strengthened past what we can be and do alone, through which we are sparked, kindled, enlivened, challenged and loved.

In all of my exploring I have seen these Ways to Be in action: communities living together on the land in the country and in co-housing urban environments. Bi-monthly potlucks, work days, creating heart and logistical planning spaces which act as containers in which humans are talking about and acting on the things which are really important to them, gardens in back yards and surplus produce exchanges with neighbors, active barter economies, connections forged over time with local representatives which bring meaning and lessen the gap between those “in power” and their constituents, gardens which are sacred spaces and exude beauty and practicality, bicycle pathways painted by the city from the ecovillage to the thriving city center, communal car shares, small urban farms producing thousands of pounds of veggies, urban orchards, humanure and a plentitude of composting systems. These connective pathways are happening and we can all start where we are today!

Tribe, consider this an evocative invocation toward co-creation! I wish us courage and clarity on this collective journey as we dialogue and prod our roots onward and deeper in order to grow further reaching branches and weave more expansive webs.

Lauren “Wren” Haffner is the recent creator of a chapbook titled Earthy, a poetic exploration of the intersection between spirit and sex in relationships. This and writings of her visits to ecovillages and her recent bike journey can be found at ourdailyride.wordpress.com. She is also the co-founder of 5miradius (5miradius.org), a community urban farming venture and model which begs to be replicated. She is currently continuing her exploration of intentional communities and welcomes support and collaboration in her endeavors.

living as spirit matters

there’s a religion which believes the future holds union, bliss, divine connection

there are many religions which believe this

and so many people who hold onto this idea

 

this implies that though humans, the earth and its offspring, have spirit and make contact with Spirit, there is always some greater, far-off fullness to inherit upon death from the physical form

this leaves humans who hold these thoughts (implicitly, unconsciously, etc) waiting

pulled from the pressing present into some future paradise
the thing about the future is that we never really get to experience it until it’s here, in the present
the only embodied reality is the present, what we experience right now
the future is an idea in our mind, an imagining, a story we tell ourselves

and this is great! with our minds and imaginative story-weaving powers, we can dream up futures to work toward in the present. with these powers new realities can be brought into the material plane, lived, incarnate.

the thing is, the waiting for future union is often tied with the belief that it only happens after death of the physical form.

what i’m here to clarify is that it is possible to live as spirit matters. read the slanted part again. by matters i do not only mean Is of importance or value, but i also imply Is embodied. to bring into matter, into the material plane, usher into corporal form. this is the future paradise of the religions, often interpreted to happen after physical death.

what i’m here to clarify, and many are here now with this message, many have come before pointing the way, is that our ultimate mission is to connect Spirit with Matter, with earth, with what matters. to realize life as spirit. all of life, right now. often the divide between spirit, the sky, light, divine qualities and states of being and the earth plane is great and total. there are times for spirit connection, alone and in group, and then there is the rest of the life, lived on the material plane, engaged in practical, artistic, etc earth activities.

what i most want to say is that i choose to bring spirit into all of these activities. to realize that i am spirit (connected to Great Spirit) and so realize that all of my actions, movements, and beingness are a part of eternity, are a part of the divine flow, are a peace of the whole.

we all have spirits and we all have earth lives. in a balanced life the earth life, spirit life and imaginative/rational life of the mind flow and feed one another.

there is no future paradise. the time for melding within and without is now. if we read again the words of those who have come before, the words of whom one great and massive religion is founded and based, we find this truth:

Neither shall they say, Lo, here! or, There! for lo, the kingdom of God is within you. (luke 17:21)

Like the cow, Bossy, i woke up to outside of the wooden shelter yesterday morning, chewing grass, I’ve ruminated on these things for many years now. chewing off bits of truth here and there, swallowing them as i needed, processing in the gut, throwing them back up, biting off more, masticating, integrating them again…and again.

i am at this point to begin to bring this into words, to regurgitate what i feel and know and translate it into the magic of words which create and inform reality. yesterday i read about a new totem in my life, Spider. With ancient and primordial language Spider weaves the two realities together (Spirit and Earth) bringing mystery and divine truth into reality. i am called to this as one of my divine purposes and i choose to answer that call in joy, courage, standing in divine inspiration. i see myself as a channel, as a conduit through which divine truths can move. we all have this within. i choose to listen, to allow, and to share.

living as spirit matters
what will this look like as our daily ride cycles on, with or without the bike, knowing that each day is a divine ride gifted from the mystery. as spirit embodies matter, what will be created on the material plane? what earth and spirit lessons await? how will the great melding appear as it matures, develops, dies and is reborn?

i am curious, excited, even warmly contented now knowing that as i type spirit matters, has mattered, matters as the whole thing eternally!

like a spider spinning her web, sitting in the middle, poised

what exquisite balance walking the line, climbing the line, slithering the line
on this earth plane,

right now i want to write about love
and i find that power keeps coming to mind. in a land of Be Sweet Be Kind Be Who You Are and That’s One Hell of a Swell Guy, i remember what a friend said to me once: before entire compassion can be offered, we must each stand in our Power. before flowing in the green heart of love growing and leafing, we must Know Where We Stand, What We Want, Who We Are, What Our Boundaries Are.

it’s apparent to me that full love without harnessed and known will can be a love which throws off balance, which, instead of serving further grounding, can uproot, disrupt or swing pendulum-like in polarity. this is what it is. love can still happen like this, and i’d wager in most places in the world it does based on vestiges of cultural norms and traditions wherein the male, holding more masculinity and more active forms of power, suppresses, oppresses, decides how the female dresses, etc.

but this control in love is not the highest form of love, wherein both partners, fully in their will, dance in co-creative union. if one partner controls the actions, thoughts, movements, if one partner controls or has an over-bearingly determinative sway in the will of the other, the full expression of two wills creatively and synergistically creating a unified reality, the sum greater than the parts, cannot happen. in the case of dominating relationships, one will is more powerful and the couple serves to further that will – one partner in a subservient role, always the follower subjugating their will. this continual subjugation weakens the partner because without choice or a free will the will lessons in strength, forgets the intricacies of the act of making decisions, and finally dies. the heart can continue in this situation, and most likely still does, because it is love (and usually a host of external shoulds) which makes this situation bearable and continuous.

an energized will, on the other hand, is a free will, one which stands in all creative potential in relationship with others who support, encourage and co-create. an energized will does not have to get energy by taking it from others, having power or control over others (be it land, systems, knowledge, animals, or other people), although this is a common way to energize a will.

in the highest and most delightful way a will simply gets charged by doing things aligned with its deepest purpose.

at the ecovillage, i am having many opportunities each day to do a myriad of things. playing in and talking with the garden, sharing what i have gleaned with school groups, helping in the kitchen, working on cob walls, meditating, walking, sharing time with friends, taking part in community gatherings, sharing massage and reiki, receiving reflexology, doing yoga, putting food away for winter, sitting by the fire, eating, cleaning, climbing trees, etc etc etc. based on how aligned i am with my will when i commit to a task oftentimes determines how delightful or troublesome the task is. there have been times here when i have committed to a task i wasn’t really feeling was aligned with myself, and throughout that task resented my commitment and all that it entailed. on the other hand, i have been choosing to energize my will at every possible opportunity and so have flowed in and out of activities feeling a sense of connection, purpose and ease with life.

i am finding that life lived in this way creates more life, more opportunities, more growth, excitement, learnings, and connection. by choosing in line with what my will delights in, i have more energy and am not getting “roped in” to tasks, events, or connections which no longer serve me and thereby weaken my will. resentment, grudging, tongue-biting have gone down because of this. communication, enlivening connection and a great sense of purpose have risen. this is one experience i am having at the ecovillage.

——–

i am in much love at the ecovillage as well. this is a place of great connection with the earth, with her rhythms and shifting forces towards more earth-honoring, as well as being a place of great intention of spirit, of connection with Spirit and with each other. love flows freely here and there is an energy built up and continually supported by the community which fosters the growth and sharing of love.

one particular love relationship i am sharing in is giving me great exercise in knowing my will, ascertaining what serves my highest good (also being the Highest Good), and so communicating that in relationship. if a miscommunication or misunderstanding happens, or perhaps something that wants shifted comes up, my will comes forth like a divining rod, transforms into words which manifest as palpable energy vibrations the partner can understand. an energized and free will brings these things to the relational plate without fear, concern or expectation of outcome, or judgment. one thing i am learning is that i cannot predict how another person is going to interact with my will. all i can do is come forth, share myself, and dance.

these lessons in communication, free will, and community living are priceless. i am very thankful to be here with all of these opportunities to test myself in the fires of communication and relationship, and grow in my knowledge of mySelf, the Highest Good as it unfolds and my deepest purpose.

photostream

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