like a spider spinning her web, sitting in the middle, poised

what exquisite balance walking the line, climbing the line, slithering the line
on this earth plane,

right now i want to write about love
and i find that power keeps coming to mind. in a land of Be Sweet Be Kind Be Who You Are and That’s One Hell of a Swell Guy, i remember what a friend said to me once: before entire compassion can be offered, we must each stand in our Power. before flowing in the green heart of love growing and leafing, we must Know Where We Stand, What We Want, Who We Are, What Our Boundaries Are.

it’s apparent to me that full love without harnessed and known will can be a love which throws off balance, which, instead of serving further grounding, can uproot, disrupt or swing pendulum-like in polarity. this is what it is. love can still happen like this, and i’d wager in most places in the world it does based on vestiges of cultural norms and traditions wherein the male, holding more masculinity and more active forms of power, suppresses, oppresses, decides how the female dresses, etc.

but this control in love is not the highest form of love, wherein both partners, fully in their will, dance in co-creative union. if one partner controls the actions, thoughts, movements, if one partner controls or has an over-bearingly determinative sway in the will of the other, the full expression of two wills creatively and synergistically creating a unified reality, the sum greater than the parts, cannot happen. in the case of dominating relationships, one will is more powerful and the couple serves to further that will – one partner in a subservient role, always the follower subjugating their will. this continual subjugation weakens the partner because without choice or a free will the will lessons in strength, forgets the intricacies of the act of making decisions, and finally dies. the heart can continue in this situation, and most likely still does, because it is love (and usually a host of external shoulds) which makes this situation bearable and continuous.

an energized will, on the other hand, is a free will, one which stands in all creative potential in relationship with others who support, encourage and co-create. an energized will does not have to get energy by taking it from others, having power or control over others (be it land, systems, knowledge, animals, or other people), although this is a common way to energize a will.

in the highest and most delightful way a will simply gets charged by doing things aligned with its deepest purpose.

at the ecovillage, i am having many opportunities each day to do a myriad of things. playing in and talking with the garden, sharing what i have gleaned with school groups, helping in the kitchen, working on cob walls, meditating, walking, sharing time with friends, taking part in community gatherings, sharing massage and reiki, receiving reflexology, doing yoga, putting food away for winter, sitting by the fire, eating, cleaning, climbing trees, etc etc etc. based on how aligned i am with my will when i commit to a task oftentimes determines how delightful or troublesome the task is. there have been times here when i have committed to a task i wasn’t really feeling was aligned with myself, and throughout that task resented my commitment and all that it entailed. on the other hand, i have been choosing to energize my will at every possible opportunity and so have flowed in and out of activities feeling a sense of connection, purpose and ease with life.

i am finding that life lived in this way creates more life, more opportunities, more growth, excitement, learnings, and connection. by choosing in line with what my will delights in, i have more energy and am not getting “roped in” to tasks, events, or connections which no longer serve me and thereby weaken my will. resentment, grudging, tongue-biting have gone down because of this. communication, enlivening connection and a great sense of purpose have risen. this is one experience i am having at the ecovillage.

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i am in much love at the ecovillage as well. this is a place of great connection with the earth, with her rhythms and shifting forces towards more earth-honoring, as well as being a place of great intention of spirit, of connection with Spirit and with each other. love flows freely here and there is an energy built up and continually supported by the community which fosters the growth and sharing of love.

one particular love relationship i am sharing in is giving me great exercise in knowing my will, ascertaining what serves my highest good (also being the Highest Good), and so communicating that in relationship. if a miscommunication or misunderstanding happens, or perhaps something that wants shifted comes up, my will comes forth like a divining rod, transforms into words which manifest as palpable energy vibrations the partner can understand. an energized and free will brings these things to the relational plate without fear, concern or expectation of outcome, or judgment. one thing i am learning is that i cannot predict how another person is going to interact with my will. all i can do is come forth, share myself, and dance.

these lessons in communication, free will, and community living are priceless. i am very thankful to be here with all of these opportunities to test myself in the fires of communication and relationship, and grow in my knowledge of mySelf, the Highest Good as it unfolds and my deepest purpose.