ah the evening before the departure. the kitchen is quiet save the hum of the fridge and the tapping rains on the window. the night is black at 6:06 pm and frequent flashes light the whole sky. this morning i made almost 10 pieces of bacon and have eaten them throughout the day. a big mound of viscous pork fat still sits in the skillet. i went on a bike ride around midday. the air was windy with warmth like in spring and dodging earthworms on the fresh pavement was impossible so i ended the ride with gooey worms between my tire and the frame. took me a second to figure out what new thing had become stuck to my bike.

i could sit here for hours and listen to the tapping and rushing of the rains.

i just woke up from a nap in fact, an unintentional nap, and have yet to really pack for the trip. i worked on my main exploring garment today. inspired by thought threads along the line of Wherever you go there you are. i asked myself where i am and where i want to be. the answer came back a resounding H ( O M ) E. wherever i am, home. at home in my body, on the earth.

I am sitting here, listening to the rains, and it’s like they’re moistening my joints and sending water throughout my body. on the full moon last friday i made two tinctures for the journey. one, usnea, old man’s beard, a lichen (symbiosis of algae and fungus!) which acts as the purifying lungs of the forest (and has a similar action in our bodies), is an immune system booster and has anti-biotic and anti-fungal properties. i also experimented with a tincture i’ve never made or even tried before. it was hard to find much about it on the internet, but i wanted to make it so i did. frankincense and myrrh. i’ve loved burning these light brown and dark brown resin pellets – their smell is heavenly calming – and wanted to see what a tincture would provide. i thought of the tinctures because the myrrh and frankincense one stimulates blood flow, as well as having a host of other properties. but this is the main one i’m into, especially because f & m have inherent spiritually-connecting properties. it reminds me of Getting the flow going. increases circulation, thinking of that for my little organism moving around the face of the earth. tributaries and veins, spirits and wind.

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it’s 1 am now. packing is (almost) complete. i realize i was running from myself nearly all day. gathering everything about me for the journey can be difficult and sifting through and processing everything happening in my world along with packing took a back burner to Distraction today. that’s okay. i’m excited to be sitting on the train tomorrow fully engaged in the trip!

some thoughts i wrote earlier as i started to pack:

young woman with old man’s beard!

human child of god bringing gold & frankincense & myrrh

what more can i say but thank you for walking along with me we’re here together now

tomorrow waking early 4 am early to catch the train. my momma drives us downtown and kisses me goodbye for now. all i carry on my back. inside of me the stuff that touches everything making pictures with my eyes translating to words to nibble on to digest to give away. blessed.

i sing blessed so many so close sharing time and space growing along side together like usnea, the old man’s beard, lungs of the forest from algae and fungi. who can say what the journey holds and on the eve i hold my hope for death and rebirth for sunshine and moonshine. who can hold the kettle steaming and we all want to drink the tea. blessSings to you, hear them they creep through corners you’ll find them like dust gathering if you look for them on a rainy sunday morning. remember dear child i am with you alway i hear your heart and together we stay together we play like a fish in the water where is the water like a carved out bowl where is the water i am a water carrier. sing song dance with me my friend i leave with a bivy and a blanket and a song.

with a bivy and a blanket and a song , roots digging into the earth shooting to the heavens.

ships ahoy matey…